As if glimpsing Robert Novak, the “Prince of Darkness” himself, in a wheelchair but still active weren’t enough to make my visit to the Phillips Foundation Fellows reunion in Washington, DC this past Saturday exciting, I learned that one of my fellow Fellows, hip Mark Hemingway (known for articles in venues like National Review and for being in the rock band Cartel), was the one who first suggested that the GOP use the Heart song “Barracuda” in honor of Sarah “Barracuda” Palin, leading to perhaps the moment of greatest joy for me in the whole sad, endless campaign season, which was hearing that driving guitar sound as the GOP convention ended. Heart promptly threatened to sue to get the Republicans to stop using the song.
Since Heart and the Foo Fighters (“There Goes My Hero”) have both now told the McCain-Palin campaign to stop using their songs, might I suggest the B-52s’ “Mesopotamia” as a replacement, which could be artfully used in celebration of our curiously underreported defeat of Al Qaeda in Iraq this month? “They laid down the law — in Mes-o-po-tamia!” Within days, the B-52s would also, of course, announce their support for Obama, but for at least a few hours, it’d be good for a few laughs. (I’ve heard Britney Spears, star of yesterday’s blog entry, is conservative, but she’s also insane, which might not help.)
McCain might also consider “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins, accompanied by montages combining shots of McCain in the Air Foce and Top Gun scenes — coinciding with instructions to Palin to simply start calling him Maverick as if it’s literally McCain’s name (e.g., “I’m right on your tail, Maverick! I’ve got you covered, Maverick!” etc.).
They’ll still lose, of course, but we may as well have fun in these last few days. (Also good: “Pit Bull-Moose Party” t-shirts. Better yet: paying me millions to run these campaigns. I haven’t lost one I’ve managed yet.)
Again, though, I’m voting for Bob Barr. Too late in the day for half-measures, America. I say start by selling all public land, a great idea left over from the Andre Marrou campaign on the Libertarian Party ticket back in 1992. If some “mainstream” political figure really has a better idea for paying off the federal debt, I’m all ears, big, pinkish ears.
And you can share your own thoughts about the election at Lolita Bar (266 Broome St.) the night after the election, at 8pm, when I host and Michel Evanchik moderates a panel about what it all means.
P.S. The B-52s, of course, don’t have much in the way of conservative-sounding songs (and “Planet Z” is laughably green). My nomination for their gayest-sounding line, by the way (not that there’s anything wrong with that), is from “Party Out of Bounds”: Fred, exasperated, asking (of wild parties): “Who’s to blame when they get poorly planned?” On a vaguely related note, I’m planning to watch the election night returns with the CuddleParty founders and some Burning Man types, which should be a learning experience all around.