Thursday, October 16, 2008

Finally, Some Final Crisis


Yesterday, I read a couple comics related to DC’s ongoing “Final Crisis” storyline, in which reality-altering villains literally turn the DC Universe into Hell — and it’s been a month and a half since the last time I picked up an issue from one of the few miniseries (all ostensibly monthly) I’m following through all of this.

Indeed, I notice issue #1 of the two-part Grant Morrison miniseries Final Crisis: Superman Beyond (in 3D) came out in August, but part two is not slated to appear until at least January! My question is: having read the trippy, reality-altering first issue with the special 3D glasses that came inside, do I now need special 4D glasses that transcend time in order to view the conclusion?

While I’m waiting, I can’t resist imagining possible endings for the weird, dire story, and since Morrison likes mind-blowing metafiction, perhaps — while I realize this has almost been done repeatedly — he should take things to their logical conclusion and unmask the villain Libra (who’s already been hinted to be a tad gay) at the end of Final Crisis and reveal him to be gender-bending Grant Morrison himself (the unmasking must be pivotal somehow, in keeping with the Hopi myths Morrison seems to be emulating).

Morrison/Libra can then say he hails from a higher plane of reality and thus can warp the DC Earth like a writer editing a story — and he has decided to do horrible things to all the heroes and villains, like sodomize Darkseid, make Batman into an accountant, and turn Superman into pasta — living pasta.

Then just have the miniseries end with things that way (pasta graces the covers of the ongoing Superman books in February, etc.) and have the editors and writers claim, deadpan, that this is the new status quo and indeed that it’s better than anything that has gone before. Then see how long it takes fandom to completely lose its collective mind with rage.

And since Morrison likes depicting hints of sex and horror (the themes of my September and October blog entries, respectively) in this tale of the New Gods — and since, like Frankie Goes to Hollywood, he hails from the UK — I dedicate this link to him: the unsubtly-political early-80s New Wave song “Two Tribes,” which toward the end asks the always-relevant question, “Are we living in a land where SEX and HORROR are NEW GODS?”


jenny said...

hey, a pre-tyson ear bite!

and yes, sex and horror are the new gods. just ask james gunn & nathan fillion (although that might’ve been more appropriate for your oddly sexless month of sex).

Mark said...

That Gunn/Fillion production was pretty funny. Also worth checking out is “toe jam”. Re: The Final Crisis – I can’t wait for this thing to come out in a TPB format. How does it stack up against 52 and Identity Crisis?

Todd Seavey said...

They each have their merits — and make different sorts of demands on the reader — and I’m reluctant to rank them. The _52_ cover artist does all the interior art on _Final Crisis_, if that’s a big selling point for you.

All three series (assuming _Final Crisis_ proper picks up a bit in next week’s issue 4, when Darkseid conquers the Earth) are superior to 2005’s _Infinite Crisis_, which was really the template for the sorts of editorially-driven hodgepodge-stories without a clear, clean narrative arc that DC has produced in the Dan Didio-overseen era (but may be moving away from, recognizing the power of more self-contained and thus more coherent stories).

The subsidiary miniseries _Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds_ is probably giving me the most joy, though that’s because I’ve loved the Legion, George Perez, and the villainous Time Trapper for decades now — I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to outsiders and normals (the way John Hodgman recommends _Watchmen_ to all in a new _TimeOut New York_ interview, manga-selling Ali Kokmen tells me).

Todd Seavey said...

P.S. I notice Libra, finally making explicit the fact that Flashes are tied to Crises (being the people most easily able to vibrate between worlds, and in some sense the first to do so), summarized their pivotal role by calling them “breakers of the Bleed.”

This, combined with lots of other ovum/replication/bleeding imagery in this current wave of stories forces us to conclude: the multiverse lost its virginity to Barry Allen in 1961 — and I’m clearly _not_ just reading into that!

Jacob T. Levy said...

Jenny, thanks for the pointer to that highly entertaining video.

While I was at that pajiba site I poked around and saw the JJ Abrams Star Trek pictures… and was not reassured. Even Quinto looks very wrong, and he looks like Spock naturally. The cover pic couldn’t have looked more like the cover to a slashfic collection if it had tried (or maybe it actually was trying.)

I feel like I’m looking at a Muppet Babies episode paying homage to Star Trek– “isn’t it funny that our heroes were friends forever and ever even back when they were 12? Yay!”

Todd Seavey said...

If it makes you feel better, here’s a picture of Spock’s hot mom (Winona Ryder) in overalls and nothing else (though it may just make you feel old):

On the downside, here are photos of fat people taken by Leonard Nimoy:

jenny said...

jacob – with you on the new star trek movie shots. while simon pegg may do well as scotty, the rest of the cast… *sigh* the only one who may be slightly okay is anton yelchin, who i adored in huff.

the rest of the cast? just icky.