Thursday, July 3, 2014

Leaked Star Wars: Episode VII Opening Scroll


Episode VII: The Ancient Fear

A generation after the defeat of the Empire, the Galactic Alliance is governed by the mad President Jar-Jar Binks.  He has secretly begun building a massive cloned army of the fierce warriors known as Ewoks and plans to send them on a "cuddle rampage" across the planets of the Alliance. 

Suspecting this danger, the droids R2-D2 and C-3PO have begun construction on a new and more powerful Death Star space station, planning to destroy any world that becomes overrun by the Ewoks. 

Meanwhile, with the mystical ways of the Force largely forgotten, the former Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker, has become a children's magician.  He speeds through hyperspace now toward the home of his sister Leia and her husband Han Solo, who hope to entertain their children at a very special Life Day celebration…

1 comment:

Shawn Levasseur said...

Where "Scroll" is a misspelling of "Troll".