UPDATE: THEY AREN’T STARTING KARAOKE UNTIL 9, SO I WILL ARRIVE JUST BEFORE 10.
•As per the instructions, I’ll be at Iggy’s (2nd Ave. and 75th/76th) for karaoke tonight — but if no substantial posse is demanding my continued presence despite what will likely be impressive performances by me of “Sanctify Yourself” and “Tom Sawyer” (as promised at last week’s Debate at Lolita Bar on Christian rock) — come 8:30 I’ll scram to try and catch Pagan Kennedy reading and tapdancing (since they ask writers to demonstrate an additional talent) down at Happy Ending at 302 Broome St.
•Speaking of libertarian rock band Rush, I couldn’t help but wonder, after reading about that Obama delegate who received a $75 ticket in a Chicago suburb for likening black children in a tree to monkeys, “Are we living in Canada now? Did we lose a war, people?” I’m sure news stories about the incident will focus on the irony of an Obama delegate resigning over her racial insensitivity to blacks, but that hardly seems like the big story to me: You can get a ticket for racist speech in Illinois?! The way Canadians like my friend Ezra Levant can get hauled before inquiry panels for insulting Islam? Does no one on this continent understand the concept of free speech? (And which candidate do I vote for to make the crazy stop, incidentally?)
Note: Should a more detailed account of the Chicago-area case reveal that the ticket was technically for some associated offense like urinating on the complaining family’s lawn or something, I will not be shocked, since the news leaves out complicating details all the time, but in the meantime I fear for my nation.
•And speaking of “my nation,” if those libertarians you may have seen in the news a couple years ago who were hoping to turn New Hampshire into a “Free State” decide to give up and start their own sovereign nation on a smaller parcel of land, I know one parcel that has been in something of a legal limbo in recent years and that may therefore be up for grabs (though it’s an old naval yard, so seizing it might be dangerous). From Wikipedia:
Seavey’s Island was the subject of a border dispute between New Hampshire and Maine in 2001, in which New Hampshire asserted that the island lay within the borders of New Hampshire. The State of New Hampshire brought suit against Maine in the Supreme Court, but the Court dismissed the case in 2002, leaving ownership of the island with Maine.
•And if the future inhabitants of Seavey’s Island, in all likelihood, grow tired of the existential burden of absolute liberty and decide to proclaim me king (given my family ties to the region on my father’s side), I could rescue one of those oppressed pygmies I mentioned in my Monday blog entry and make him my assistant in charge of welcoming people to the island, like Fantasy Island’s Tattoo to my Mr. (Howard) Rourke. Of course, as I learned from Francis Heaney, the guy who played Tattoo also played a monarch himself: king of the
Eighth Sixth Dimension in the 1980 film Forbidden Zone, perhaps the strangest movie I have ever seen — directed by Danny Elfman’s brother and featuring Danny Elfman as Satan singing a variation on Cab Calloway’s “Minnie the Moocher” (which explains half of Oingo Boingo’s sound — or as they were then billed, the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo).
No such fate is likely to befall my stalwart Congo-pygmy viceroy, though. And I also do a pretty good “Minnie the Moocher” in karaoke, by the way.