Your Movie-Going Plans for 2014 and 2015

I don’t know how far in advance you normal folk plan your movie-going, but an attentive nerd knows the release dates of major sci-fi and superhero-type films about two years in advance, so below are likely nerd plans for this year and next (despite that very brief lull in September and October 2014).

Crucially, this list no longer includes Batman vs. Superman, which has been delayed to 2016.  (Poor DC Comics will have zero movies out over a two-year span in which Marvel may well have eight -- and DC will be newly-relocated to Burbank when it happens.)  If all else fails, Mike Vine notes this entertaining clip of a cat playing with a theremin.

And while we‘re waiting for Gadot -- that is, Gal Gadot, who will play Wonder Woman in Batman vs. Superman (which may also reportedly include Aquaman) -- I see she felt pressured to address her breast size, since some stupid fans complained she isn’t busty enough for the role.  I’m pleased she responded by noting that if she were a traditional Amazon, she wouldn’t even have one of those breasts, given the One Boob to Bind Them All rule they supposedly had.

I’m struck by the fact that this two-year movie period will include new screen versions of robots-gone-amok stories from the 80s or so -- RoboCop, the X-Men-menacing Sentinels, more Transformers, the Avengers foe Ultron, Terminator -- even though these days we could be making documentaries about the real war-robots (like the ones Google acquired when it bought Boston Dynamics) instead of doing these remakes. 

I should also note as the Oscars approach that I saw Gravity three times, including once with my parents and once with what I think must have been the only three people in America who didn’t like it.  I don't think they have much appreciation for the art of special effects, though this might help.

Without further ado, a couple dozen major nerd films for 2014 and 2015 (with release dates).  Marvel ones are bolded just to give you an idea how big the onslaught is:

2014:

RoboCop (2/7)

300: Rise of an Empire (3/7)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (4/4)

Amazing Spider-Man 2 (5/2)

Godzilla (5/16)

X-Men: Days of Future Past (5/23)

Transformers: Age of Extinction (6/27)

Atlas Shrugged Part III (at least it’s over) (7/4)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (7/11)

Jupiter Ascending (from the Wachowskis) (7/18)

Guardians of the Galaxy (8/1)

Interstellar (from Christopher Nolan) (11/7)

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (11/21)

The Hobbit: There and Back Again (12/7)

(And at some point this year: the Pynchon-based Inherent Vice, Aspie-nerd drama Carrie Pilby based on a novel by my friend Caren Lissner, and, at least on DVD and perhaps in a theatre or two, Mirage Men, about the government faking UFO sightings.)

2015:

Avengers: Age of Ultron (5/1)

Mad Max: Fury Road (5/15)

Fantastic Four (6/19)

Ted 2 (6/26)

Terminator: Genesis (7/1)

Ant-Man (7/17)

James Bond #24 (11/6)

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (11/20)

Star Wars: Episode VII (12/18)

(And maybe somewhere in 2015 a third Wolverine movie, suggests Hugh Jackman.)

There’s no compelling need to leave the theatre, really.