During Yom Kippur, this sacred 25-hour period of atonement
for people of the Jewish faith, it is a good time to list 25 regrettable political things for which someone should do penance.
You know what’s not entirely regrettable,
though? That warning some guy on TV gave
two years ago that his ex-girlfriend, a fellow political writer, may be a
closet moral nihilist who wants
people to suffer.
1. Sure, he’s mostly kept the peace for the past year –
genuinely hoping the ex-girlfriend, now relocated to Australia, has turned over
a new leaf, as she claimed – but he couldn’t help feeling more than a
bit vindicated in his old warning when
the ex,
returning
at long last to two of her favorite themes,
wrote an article for a cover symposium in the September issue of American Spectator in which
(surprise, surprise) she argues that (A) conservatives really need to stop
worrying about moral relativism and nihilism (a little dose is good for the
culture, she tempts) and, furthermore, (B) conservatives’ new public enemy #1
should instead be (can you guess?)
utilitarianism.
Utilitarianism is not only the belief that we should try to
foster happiness instead of suffering
in others (also known as common decency or basic empathy) but is also – by an
astonishing coincidence – her critic/ex-boyfriend’s own creed.
2. As with so many things she writes – whether she’s condemning meritocracy or arguing counterintuitively
that conservatives should naturally love “transgressive” artists like Lady Gaga
– Helen’s unstated real mission sometimes seems to be to drag down the whole
culture into the abyss with her. Then she cannot be judged, not by the class
structure, not by libertarians, not by statisticians, not by the kindhearted nor by the mean kids in high school who
made fun of the goths or had happier lives – not by anyone. (And they’re all stupid to boot, of course. And, yeah, most of them are.)
I had honestly hoped she’d just stay off such topics (while
flourishing professionally), but I gotta say I hope she doesn’t continue down
this dark road. I fear (for her sake as
much as the culture’s) that she might.
3. Oh sure, it’ll start out sounding like a mere tweak of
existing conservative doctrine – even refreshing and witty (New Atlantis magazine tweeted its approval: “funny, smart”!). But in time, there will be talk of Nietzsche...then
attempts to rehabilitate wife-beating as a vital tradition...then violence and
immorality in general...and it will all
end in darkness and sadism while somehow being peddled to the respectable
editors at some unsuspecting place like Weekly
Standard.
4. And it’ll all be prettied up with a few Catholic jokes and affected Victorian references, as the
traditionalist-nihilists like it these days (with their cartoons of
monocles and other steampunk-like anachronisms, including lots of phrases like
“Good sir!” – none of it a substitute for actual old-fashioned good behavior).
5. I don’t wholly object to the aesthetic – and speaking of
anachronisms, I am likely looking forward to Rian Johnson’s stylish time travel
thriller Looper this weekend as much
as Helen, who first drew my attention to the director – but even being as
artfully affected as Oscar Wilde, or for that matter Prince, cannot count as
the slightest compensation for being a jerk, if indeed you are a jerk. That way lies life as Rocky Horror, and remember, people got murdered in Rocky Horror, no matter how cool the
costumes and songs were.
So often, though, she hints at a belief that artifice balances out bad behavior – that lying compensates for harming, so to
speak. This disturbing view, I’m telling
you, underlies countless otherwise potentially confusing and ironic Helen
passages like this one:
But we’ve come a long way since the days when
Marilyn Manson and Andres Serrano (the artist behind Piss Christ) could make careers out
of transgression for transgression’s sake. Breaking taboos for shock value is
relativism; breaking taboos as a means rather than an end is not, which gives
Lady Gaga and Seth MacFarlane an alibi. Pop stars used to think that
authenticity was an important part of a musician’s job description – that’s
what those Lilith Fair songstresses, self-righteous grungers, and
way-too-honest emo kids seemed to think, anyway – and it certainly was a form
of relativism to make such a fetish of being true to yourself, objective
standards be damned. But overprocessed chart-slayers like Katy Perry and Ke$ha
don’t act as if they want to be judged by the brutal honesty of their
self-expression, and neither do mannered indie darlings like the Decemberists.
In other words: Get over this honesty fetish, America. (And get over this morality hang-up, too.) Hide
things. Terrible things. The more terrible, the better. The more terrible, the more sophisticated. It sounds at first like old-fashioned
propriety, which is why it’s in a conservative magazine, but it’s a
post-postmodern sort of pseudo-propriety that takes the horror behind the
façade for granted – and gleefully refuses to fight it.
(In the article, she also implies that she likes the band
the Hold Steady because they address moral dilemmas with seriousness and
sophistication – but I have a right to wonder what she sees as sophistication,
given that she once praised the band to me
at an odd juncture precisely for their refusal to judge things like instances
of infidelity as right or wrong and their tendency instead just to ask with
curiosity, “What happens next?” That’s
the century-ago D.H. Lawrence-like liberal view of what “sophistication” is,
dangerously disguised as neo-traditionalism.)
6. I’m not denying the value of artifice, but yes,