Thursday, May 15, 2008

Star Trek Meets Sex and the City, Jurassic Park Meets Eden

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1. I linked to a parodic gay Star Trek video yesterday, but here’s a straighter Trek note to compensate: Let it never be forgotten, while you female readers are rushing off to see the new Sex and the City movie, that co-star Kim Cattrall was previously the traitorous Vulcan named Valeris in Star Trek VI. She’ll never occupy exactly the same place in normals’ fantasties that she does in nerds’ — and her betrayal of the Federation demands severe punishment, obviously.

But Kim Cattrall says she studied the life of Che Guevara as preparation for Valeris, and I have to applaud anyone who sees parallels between a communist mass-murderer like Guevara and a traitorous ally of the hated Klingons.

2. On another poli-sci-fi note, I notice the Wiki. entry for William Monahan quotes his fellow NYPress veteran (and mine) Dawn Eden (about whom more in tomorrow’s Retro-Journal entry) as saying he was witty and “libertarian-leaning.” It also says he was the writer of the Jurassic Park IV script draft preceding John Sayles’. I don’t know anything more about Monahan’s draft specifically, but Sayles’ sounds (from what I’ve read) like it’d be the greatest movie ever if they filmed it, pitting regular dinosaurs against a genetically-engineered team of trained super-dinosaurs with bits of human and dog DNA that give them team loyalty, high intelligence, opposable thumbs, and the ability to shoot machine guns — and they are all given Greek god codenames by the mercenary who frees them from captivity at the mountain HQ of an evil Swiss biotech firm. How could that not be awesome? The only thing better would be a movie version of Jack Kirby’s Devil Dinosaur (but at least we’ll see his New Gods characters revamped in two weeks when Final Crisis issue #1 hits comic shops).

Unmentioned in the Monahan entry is his rejected NYPress essay “My Shits,” which would have been a chronicle of his bowel movements over several days, certainly a piece that someone had to write sooner or later, given the Family Guy-like ever-grosser trajectory of the Press back then.

P.S. I recently got what may have been the vaguest spam e-mail appeal I’ve ever seen — or simply a communication from a distant part of the Federation — with a subject header offering me “items for humans.” Who couldn’t use some of those?

P.P.S. In a reminder that humans aren’t the only possible customers, here’s a Scientific American piece on the poor guy who (really) “married” and got dumped by a robot — sort of like not being good enough for a Tamagotchi — pointed out to me by FrontPage’s Jacob Laksin, one of my many fascinating fellow Phillips Foundation Fellows (perhaps I’ll see one or more of them at tonight’s black-tie Milton Friedman Prize awards event at the Waldorf-Astoria).

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Non-New-Wave 80s Greats

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Much as I love the nerdy New Wave music genre, I’m often reminded, with wistfulness and nostalgia, that some of the greatest 80s songs didn’t quite fit the New Wave niche nor other obvious categories like classic rock and thus have not been remembered as vividly as they should be. For example:

“Voices” by Russ Ballard: I wonder if the video helped inspire the song’s use in a pivotal Miami Vice episode — you know, the one where the speedboat’s headed off to get Calderone at the end of the first episode in the two-parter.

“How Can I Refuse?” by Heart: I think this song best captures the good qualities of both their early classic-rock period and their later 80s-pop period but sometimes falls through the cracks of memory by belonging to neither category fully. It starts out as a mere performance video (though that’s pleasant enough, since Ann Wilson hadn’t yet undergone the climactic final expansion that would leave her looking forevermore like the fake-fat-lady suit from Total Recall), but then it has some delightfully stereotypical 80s surrealist/magic imagery toward the end, which is also true of the video for…

“Back Where I Started” by Box of Frogs: Made up partly of ex-Yardbirds, I think this band was cool and should have been bigger — but may have hovered too oddly between art rock and hard rock, sort of like Rush, for most people’s tastes, and speaking of ex-Yardbirds…

“Forever Man” by Eric Clapton: This may be my favorite Eric Clapton song (I mean solo, of course — Cream rules), though it isn’t the first one people think of. Perhaps liking this one means I inherited some of Dad’s Bob Seger-type tendencies after all.

•On more of a 90s note, but another reminder that the good stuff doesn’t always typify its genre, one of my favorite lyrics passages in alternative rock history (beloved by some of my college pals as well) is this thoroughly bluesy Social Distortion snippet from the maudlin “Ball and Chain”:

When I wake there in the morning
Or maybe in the county jail
I’ll know times are hard, gettin’ harder
Born to lose, destined to fail

•And since this is supposed to be the Month of the Nerd, after all, here’s a video of gay-seeming Star Trek clips set to Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer.”

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

300th Blog Entry Madness!

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For me, the grand slam is connecting my four favorite topics (which readers must sometimes fear are the only four topics I like): (1) libertarianism, (2) science, (3) sci-fi-type stuff, and (4) rock n’ roll. I’m delighted, then, to notice a bit of trivia that connects the four, just in time for this, my 300th ToddSeavey.com blog entry (and since the site’s only just over a year old as a fully-functional thing, that means I’ve been blogging roughly daily after all — and with those entries averaging about 800 words a piece, it’s hard to believe that some 17 billion of you find the time to read this site every day, but thank you).

Here is that bit of trivia:

I criticized (1) libertarian (2) psychiatrist Thomas Szasz recently on this site and have done so at greater length on FactsAndFears (and in Liberty magazine) — but I did not mention that (3) he inspired a similarly-named Batman villain, a homicidal psycho named Zsasz who, oddly enough, is played (briefly) in Batman Begins by (4) the yodely-sounding former lead singer of the band James.

Don’t try carving a diagram of all those connections into your flesh after your next kill, though, please. Remember: Zsasziness doesn’t pay.

Fittingly, I’ve just learned AEI has a panel coming up on the violent consequences of failure to treat severe mental illness.

(In my mind — and one day a couple of book proposals, schedule willing — you could almost reduce my four favorite topics to two oppositions: fiscal conservatism vs. the wildness of punk, and scientific reality vs. the allure of imagining the impossible.)

P.S. In more substantial and more narrowly libertarian news, Bob Barr officially announced his presidential candidacy yesterday, giving new relevance to our perhaps obscure-sounding topic for the June 4 Debate at Lolita Bar.

P.P.S. One subset of the populace that I think Barr will have a hard time winning over, by the way, is the 15% of Americans who, in multiple recent polls, say the country is “headed in the right direction.”

Monday, May 12, 2008

Wild Record Party

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Well, last time I checked, I failed to find any clips of Wild Record Party (a short-lived, insane cable access show here featuring stuffed animals and puppets dancing to various old garage-rock-type numbers in front of album-cover backdrops) on YouTube, but, as it happens — since I don’t have cable and just watch the handful of broadcast channels I pick up — as of just recently, channel 6 on my set, which used to be blank, now seems to be picking up two unrelated signals: some animal documentary channel, albeit in black and white and without sound, plus the sound from some very loud dance/pop radio station, so now I occasionally find myself mesmerized by some trashy techno-disco number over an image of a very slow-moving, fat raccoon or something.

It will have to do.

On a related note, watch for a cameo by Winnie the Pooh in this Friday’s Retro-Journal entry.

ADDENDUM: I should give credit to Courtney Balaker, formerly of ABC News, now of Neo Art and Logic in Hollywood, for first telling me of Wild Record Party.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Hillary Paul, Cobra Obama, and the Green Endorser

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•If you thought comparisons several months ago of Hillary Clinton to Thatcher were odd, check out how one UK blog sees her — as a Ron Paul figure (and not just because, like Paul, she doesn’t know when to stop).

•But enough about Hillary.  With her fading, it’s time for all loyal Operation Chaos operatives to turn their efforts against the presumptive Democratic nominee, Barack Obama — and this parody (pointed out to me, for non-partisan comedy reasons, by Paul Taylor) of the Obama “Yes, We Can” video helps (and features Cobra Commander).

•On an even nerdier note: this frightens me more than the impending Final Crisis comic book with its invasion of evil gods: Judd Winick (yes, the one from Real World, now a comic book writer) is doing a comic about the DC superheroes’ politics.  They quite literally intend to give new meaning to “Superman Red/Superman Blue.”

I suspect the character Anarky and a libertarian version of Uncle Sam will not be central to the plot — and that Batman will not explicitly encourage vigilantism despite clearly being a crime-hating DIY millionaire (who tellingly complained early in Batman Begins that his fellow Princeton students did not share his views — though of course we are probably meant to see his Batman incarnation as a step away from his original kill-Joe-Chill tough-on-crime conservatism, since growth = moving leftward, at least in the media).

Saturday, May 10, 2008

My Teddy Roosevelt Movie Ideas, Plus Babylon 5 and Nietzsche

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In yesterday’s Retro-Journal entry, I mentioned McCain liking Teddy Roosevelt. TR was also a factor in my recent book review for New York Post of Panama Fever. And I think both TR and the fading Hillary Clinton were called socialists, which sounds about right to me, by Bill O’Reilly after HRC likened herself to TR during her recent appearance on O’Reilly’s show.

(As I’ve been telling co-workers at ACSH this week, with some half-million people dead in Burma, it’s worth reminding people at every possible opportunity that socialist inefficiency shortens and ends lives, on top of the 150 million or so that socialist movements have murdered outright. Don’t expect me to treat the next socialist hippie chick I meet with the deference due someone who possesses the moral high ground — though Burma could certainly use some high ground right about now.)

Three Teddy Roosevelt Movie Ideas

•But all this reminds me of my TR movie idea (as copyrighted as all the other text on this site, you thieving Hollywood bastards): We know writers sometimes accompanied TR on his occasional nighttime walks around New York City when he was police commissioner — including a writer named Bram Stoker. So: what if it was one fateful patrol in which TR battled vampires that inspired Dracula? It could all end with the two heroes battling vampire prostitutes (the late-nineteenth-century analogue of socialist hippie chicks) atop the Flatiron Building. The poster slogan: “Walk softly and carry a sharp wooden stake.”

•By contrast, the poster copy for any movie about his role in Panama should of course be the world’s best-known lengthy palindrome: “A man. A plan. A canal. Panama” (and the tragic postscript text should note that instead of tens of thousands dying from malaria during the Canal’s construction, it would have been great if they’d had DDT back then — something we could use in NYC today to stop a bourgeoning bed bug invasion and could have used to nip the sometimes-fatal West Nile virus, spread by mosquitoes, in the bud back before it spread across the nation, were greens not paranoid about pesticides — again, that hypothetical hippie chick’s a conspirator in mass murder at least twice over in my eyes, but I politely smile when I get called the heartless one).

•The reason that I’m not sure I can in good conscience write the TR/Stoker vs. vampires movie, though, is that real life, as is often the case, proves more interesting than the simplistic narratives of a fiction-maker: Apparently, it turns out (based on my minimal Googling), Bram Stoker actually was inspired to write Dracula by his brief time visiting TR’s Long Island social circle — but not by NYC street crime. Rather, Stoker saw overtly “decadent” (by the standards of the day) writer Walt Whitman as a part of a rising gay threat to civilization — even though he remained friends with Whitman and corresponded with him across the ocean. Whitman = Dracula, and TR’s Dutch uncle, fascinated by science (and a New York politician in his own right), is thought to have inspired the elderly scientist character Van Helsing, who battles Dracula. In real life, TR’s son Archibald apparently started a conservative secret society intended to discourage Wilde-era sexual decadence and homosexuality. How can I reduce such fascinating historical currents to mere vampire fights? A sophisticated, two-tiered indie film is called for, which may cut into the profit margins a bit.

Babylon Shrugged

Another movie thought with political implications: I loved the 90s sci-fi series Babylon 5, with its epic, ominous, slow-building, five-year story arc about Order-loving and Chaos-loving aliens warring across the galaxy, with plucky, independent humans stuck in the middle (not to be confused with the hyper-ambitious historical play Babylon Babylon featuring a cast of dozens including Michele Carlo and a fake lion, of which I’ll catch the final performance tonight). However, I didn’t expect to see B5’s creator, J. Michael Straczynski, working with the likes of Clint Eastwood and Angelina Jolie. Nonetheless, he has written a movie called The Changeling, directed by Eastwood, starring Jolie, opening at Cannes, and telling the story of a mother who prays for her son’s safe return and then begins to suspect that the being returned to her is not her son after all.

And imagine what a syzygy of geek forces would be achieved if those three did the Atlas Shrugged movie — Dagny Taggart fan Jolie, libertarian ex-mayor Eastwood, and JMS with his rugged-individualist and anti-authoritarian themes. JMS is reportedly a disgruntled former cult member and took the Vorlon and Shadow greetings, “Who are you?” and “What do you want?”, from one of the cult’s aggressive interview rituals.

Then, if only the keepers of Rand’s intellectual estate were open-minded enough to let JMS, who has written Spider-Man and other comics, write some Babylon 5/Atlas Shrugged crossover comics…but now I’m committing fan fiction. (Who Is Kosh? Thus Spake Zathras…)

Speaking of Nietzsche

As I await the May 28 release of the climactic DC comic Final Crisis written by Grant Morrison, I see that he did a story in his All Star Superman series in which Superman created Earth-Q, meant to be Supermanless, yet ultimately yielding a philosopher named Nietzsche whose “superman” ideal in turns inspires a cartoonist named Joe Shuster — and Superman lives again, albeit as fiction…not to be confused with the real Superman…

Friday, May 9, 2008

Retro-Journal: Urban -- and Philosophical -- Adventure in Early 2002

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Today, audiences thrill to the big-screen adventures of Speed Racer — much as they thrilled to our debate on congestion pricing for Manhattan traffic on Wednesday — but six years ago…

I first met people who explored the City not horizontally but vertically, the “urban exploration” buffs of the Jinx Society, who ventured into sewers and aqueducts, climbed skyscrapers and collapsing old rooftops to see history close up and brave this ever-changing town’s Invisible Frontier, as the title of Jinx leaders LB Deyo and Lefty Leibowitz’s book put it. Both men are true patriots, in love with America’s past and its future potential — and oddly enough, it was the spectre of communism that first brought me into contact with them.

I accompanied my Marxist friend Sander Hicks to his debate against LB on globalization — part of the monthly series that would fission off from Jinx some three years later to become the Debates at Lolita Bar, hosted by me and moderated by Michel “the Brain” Evanchik. I recall that the very week of 9/11/01, the cover of National Review, planned before the attacks, was an article critical of the antiglobalization movement and its manifesto of the moment — which was very popular at college campuses across America — Empire, co-written by widely respected Italian terrorist/murderer Antonio Negri.

Even before the ruins of the World Trade Center had settled, some guessed that, given the target, the antiglobalization movement might be responsible. It wasn’t that far-fetched an idea — Sander, for example, is no terrorist, but until reading the works of Gandhi in recent years, he had seen old-fashioned violent revolution as a viable option, and in his debate against LB, he cautiously defended the thinking that sometimes leads to, say, vandalizing a Starbucks if an important enough political point needs to be made. Ironically, Sander (who had already founded two publishing companies) would go on to own two cafes, the Vox Pop coffee/food/bookstore/performance spaces of Brooklyn and Manhattan — and he would conclude (as he argued in a debate I hosted just six months ago) that 9/11, far from being orchestrated by the antiglobalization movement or even al Qaeda, was essentially an inside job.

The Jinx Society members, by contrast, spent the morning of 9/10/01 (as I would later learn reading their book) climbing to the top of the George Washington Bridge, some four hundred feet high, and marveling at the cityscape, not realizing it would soon change forever. And though the audience voted against LB in the antiglobalization debate, he would go on to win his first Jinx Society debate ever a short time later against a less worthy opponent (me), an opponent with what is apparently a less popular position than antiglobalization: the view that morality is objective rather than subjective. (In truth, I feel I let civilization down that night — but that night I also altruistically introduced my opera-singing Brown alum ex to one of my oldest friends, Chuck Blake, and they briefly dated, so some good was perhaps accomplished.)

Another political thought crosses my mind: Jinx leader LB Deyo, with his hawkish and conservative but non-Bible-thumping views, stoic no-nonsense demeanor, interest in Teddy Roosevelt, athletic and stocky build, courage in the face of physical danger, and mastery of deadpan humor, reminds me just a bit of…

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•••

I had begun work in January 2002 at the American Council on Science and Health (helping to create their blog, HealthFactsAndFears), in my mind defending a global order of science and industry improving conditions for all of humanity, despite the ingratitude of humanities majors and NGOs everywhere (and as I’ll explain to an NYU class on public relations on May 28, ACSH is not a PR operation for business interests, which I hope won’t disappoint them).

If that wasn’t free-market enough, though, I found myself attending the wedding of future Arkansas state rep Dan Greenberg — who had actually talked an attractive Wall Streeter into moving to Little Rock, if you can imagine possessing such mojo. At the wedding, I met the lovely Susan Cross, one of four women over the years who have demonstrated their swing dancing skills to me in a way that makes me repeatedly vow not to let women see me bumbling my way through attempts to swing dance (though the big dance up Fifth Avenue eight days from now, the May 17 dance-protest against NYC cabaret laws, may tempt me into making a fool of myself again).

Another of those four women was Jamie Foehl, who I met in 2002 and with whom, fittingly, I just this year visited the swing-dancing shrine that is Harlem’s Savoy Ballroom commemorative plaque, taking these pictures of her while I was at it. As if it weren’t enough that she’s telegenic and light on her feet, Jamie is literally a card-carrying Libertarian and would occasionally take out her card to prove it — though she’s more interested in that practical application of capitalist theory called advertising than politics per se. (Pity she wants kids, like an alarmingly large portion of the female population seem to, but we remain friends.)

But enough about materialistic concerns like science and capitalism (much as I admire those two things and genuinely believe them to be humanity’s greatest and most beneficial achievements so far) — the second half of my 2002 would, to a large extent, be dominated by religion, of all things, in the form of my unlikely romantic relationship with future professional Catholic chastity crusader Dawn Eden, who I first really talked to at length at a party at the home of our mutual friend and fellow NYPress veteran J.R. Taylor, having spoken briefly on at least one prior occasion, at a Fabiani Society gathering after we both approached speaker Jonah Goldberg to ask questions — with Goldberg, perhaps more presciently than Dawn or me, mock-concealing himself behind a curtain to “get out of our way” as we began talking to each other.

That was a classy move on his part — but he disappointed me on another front, when I asked if I could write a review of the first Lord of the Rings movie for NationalReview.com, telling me NRO would most definitely have a review of the movie — by him. During this Month of the Nerd, I cannot hold that against him. My piece about Lord of the Rings ended up on Metaphilm.com — and its publisher, Read Schuchardt, roughly as Christian as Dawn but more interested in media theory and a bit more philosophically flexible, will be speaking in NYC on May 22 (6:30) at the Albert Ellis Institute about similarities between medieval and modern-corporate symbolism, so another reminder about that in two weeks.

Plainly, in early 2002 several important pieces of my recent/current life were put in place — things begin to look a bit more like the world we know today. And with this entry, we’re 3/4 of the way through my Retro-Journal — fifteen years down, with five of the strangest still to come.

UPDATE 5/23/08: Oh, and this being the Month of the Nerd, it’s embarrassing that I forgot to mention (as I said I intended to) that around early 2002 I wrote the second and third of the Justice League comic book stories that I did for DC Comics, with the March 2002 issue of Justice League Adventures (#5) giving me an opportunity to symbolically blow up two troublesome ex-bosses, Web marketing guru Seth Godin and then-ABC News producer Mark Golden, in the form of a deranged Green Lantern named Godun I created who was partly influenced by them.  But hey, it’s not like I based an outright villain on them, so I must like them on some level.  My enemies don’t deserve even to be in comics.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

World Science Festival

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Since ancient times, men of learning (like the ones who gathered at last night’s congestion pricing debate) have recognized that to be well-rounded, one should know not only the ways of the Time Trapper and the Sith but also the laws of the natural world.

Toward that end, New York City will be overrun in three weeks by the 2008 World Science Festival, something well worth investigating if you want some highbrow fun from May 28-June 1 (though I’m thinking I may spend the entire final day of May watching Star Wars Episodes III-VI — count carefully, and you’ll know I’m right — plus rewatching this month’s major geek films and rereading Final Crisis #1).

My coworkers at the American Council on Science and Health are the sort of folk who also might attend the Science Festival, when they can take time away from maintaining HealthFactsAndFears, TheScooponSmoking, and the dread Riskometer, of course. I’m not sure any of them know who the Time Trapper is, though — not even our youngest staffers, Krystal, Krystal, and Crysthal (no joking, and the staff only has thirteen people) — which is why they need me.

But more about ACSH in tomorrow’s Retro-Journal entry, which will discuss the epochal turning point that was early 2002.

In the meantime, here’s a reminder from Reason about where deconstructionism and feminism — one a philosophy that denies the possibility of objective, scientific facts, the other a philosophy that merely denies certain specific facts — lead: to the greatest story in the history of the world about anything ever since the dawn of time.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It's What You Don't Know That You Don't Know

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I only just learned, from Wiki., that it’s unclear that the Library at Alexandria was actually destroyed, let alone burned by barbarians, which counts as some sort of ironic meta-meta-meta-ignorance, I think.

But speaking of hot librarians, remember that tonight at 8 all the brainy folk will be at Lolita Bar for our big debate on congestion pricing, which may even involve numbers for a change.

And in other nerd/history news, we bid farewell this week to Ted Key (age ninety-five), the creator of history-touring dog genius Mr. Peabody, among other characters. Set the Wayback Machine for respectful silence.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Gingrich, Boehner, Kucinich All Concerned About Nation

The Drudge-linked item about Newt warning the GOP to shape up is in fact about three layers of competing cosmetic bullshit, wrapped in book-promotion PR by Newt, wrapped in an article by Dennis Kucinich’s daughter, which strikes me as a fascinating little capsule lesson in how far removed from dealing in an un-spun, non-partisan way with real problems we are.

Bobby Jindal (and Iron Man) vs. Brown University -- Among Other Debates

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OK, this is only partly a sci-fi-nerd question, but: What do Iron Man, Bobby Jindal, and I all have in common? Grappling, as conservatives, with Brown University.

•At least, one antiwar reporter character who gives Tony Stark a hard time in Iron Man is described as a Brown grad (and goes on to reveal other behavior patterns often associated with Brown alums).

My problems with Brown have been related in multiple installments of my Retro-Journal, you’ll recall.

•And Jindal — for whom if I remember correctly I was briefly a writing tutor, though it’s all pretty fuzzy now, I admit (so if I blog of him in the future, let this be my permanent disclaimer that I’m not saying I was some sort of mentor to him) — became Catholic and conservative while at Brown, going on to serve (with a special emphasis on health care and a fondness for free markets) in the White House, the Louisiana congressional delegation, and the Louisiana governor’s mansion, with some (like William Kristol) now saying McCain’s v.p. running mate slot might be his next move.

Intelligence is so rare among politicians that a smart guy can go far quickly — and I still won’t quite yet think of myself as truly old even if I find that in eight months, I can say “I tutored the Vice President in college.”

Ironically, though, even if McCain picks a smart, market-oriented (though still undeniably socially-conservative as well, don’t get me wrong) old acquaintance of mine as his running mate, I may end up having to vote against him, casting a protest vote for likely Libertarian candidate Bob Barr. Jindal would help McCain in my eyes, though — and by the time I get around to my week of blogging about the Libertarian Party presidential nominating convention in two weeks, it’s possible the LP will have managed to self-destruct, riven as they now are by a conflict between Barr supporters and supporters of Mary Ruwart, who (evasions aside) basically implied support for legalizing kiddie porn in a passage of her writing (and the Libertarian Party executive director who tried to fix things — or aid Barr — by announcing that the LP supports greater federal involvement in investigating such illicit materials was driven to resign by outraged LP members who, rightly or wrongly but with poor timing regardless, denounced him for violating the principle of devolving crime-fighting from the federal to state and local authorities).

If it all redounds to Barr’s benefit and helps give him the nomination, swell. If the LP — even in this year when there are many libertarian- and conservative-leaning voters willing to cast a big, powerful, quite possibly election-deciding protest vote — manages to marginalize itself by nominating someone (even) more obscure than Barr, then I may end up reluctantly voting for McCain (I think Ken Silber will be defending the McCain option in our June 4 Debate at Lolita Bar, incidentally).

If Jindal manages to put in place some free-market solutions to Louisiana’s post-Katrina woes before moving on to run with McCain, I’ll feel he’s fairly deserving of my reluctant vote.

Let us hope (for the length of this segue back to sci-fi, at least) that he leaves New Orleans in better shape than Scotland was left in the ridiculous but fun post-apocalyptic thriller Doomsday, anyway. That movie was so silly that I was inspired to check Wikipedia for director/writer Neil Marshall’s other projects (aside from The Descent, which I already knew about). I learned that Doomsday — which was basically Road Warrior plus Day of the Dead, Highlander, and Escape from New York — is not the only movie idea of his that sounds like one of those two-older-films-combined joke film pitches from The Producer. One of his ideas in development is a World War II film called Eagle’s Nest that he says would be a hybrid of Die Hard and Remains of the Day (???) — though I like the sound of his idea for a movie about zombies attacking an oil rig more (he’s waiting out the zombie glut before making that one).

And remember: some say the way to avoid barbarism and chaos on the roads is congestion pricing to thin traffic, so come see economist Charles Komanoff (pro) and writer Doug Dechert (con) debate that question tomorrow night (Wed., May 7) at 8pm at Lolita Bar. I’ll host and withhold judgment. And if I also drink, I will absolutely promise not to drive home to the Upper East Side.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Movies Beyond the Month of the Nerd

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This year belongs to all nerds — with an upbeat May (Iron Man, Speed Racer, Prince Caspian, Indy), unpredictable June (Hulk), dark July (Batman, Hellboy, X-Files), British November (Harry Potter, Bond), and UFOlogical December (Keanu in The Day the Earth Stood Still).

Next year, a bit quieter by my reckoning, belongs mainly to the discriminating superhero and sci-fi fans: Watchmen on March 6, followed by a May almost as nerdy as this year’s (Wolverine, Star Trek, Terminator).

But 2010 and 2011, for those planning ahead (and trusting current release schedules), belong solidly to the “fantasy” fans, with both the final Harry Potter book and The Hobbit scheduled to be split in half and released as two films apiece (the latter directed by Hellboy’s/Pan’s del Toro). I’m not sure any of us are psychologically prepared for the state of anticipation in which nerds will find themselves between 2010’s end and the 2011 release of the conclusions of Deathly Hallows and del Toro’s Hobbit. The Christian nerds, furthermore, will have glimpsed the mountains of Aslan’s heavenly kingdom at the conclusion of the middle film of the planned five-film Narnia cycle, Voyage of the Dawn Treader (and if the Narnia films keep doing well, I predict they’ll be followed by The Magician’s Nephew as a prequel, Hobbit-style).

Oddly enough, if all goes as scheduled, though, this means the only nerd film I’m pretty confident is scheduled for 2012 — the dreaded year the mystics think will bring the end of the world per the ancient Mayan calendar — is Narnia 5, The Last Battle, in which Lewis lets the Christianity really hang out and the Apocalypse comes to Narnia. As if having 1,300 years pass between the first two films (leaving Mr. and Mrs. Beaver long dead) weren’t traumatic enough for the tykes.

And speaking of the passage of time: I’m as thrilled as the next guy that the new Terminator trilogy, starting next year with an entry directed by McG and featuring Christian Bale as John Connor, will take place after the nuclear war and feature the big cyborg-human war that is what we truly want to see anyway — but I’ve heard talk there may still be some time travel involved, and I for one would be delighted to see a Terminator with neither present-day people nor time travelers. Just fight cyborgs in the wasteland for two hours and I’ll be happy. That’s the only time and place I want to see.

(Just like we all wanted to see Darth Vader in armor kicking ass in the Star Wars prequels, alas, and Doom ruling Latveria in the Fantastic Four movie, alas, and Galactus in armor in the Fantastic Four sequel, alas, and Godzilla breathing fire and not sucking in the 90s Godzilla movie, alas, and Neo liberating blinkered present-day humans from their mundane reality in the Matrix sequels, alas, and real Sentinels in the third X-Men movie, alas — but here’s another chance to keep a nerd film satisfyingly focused on the essentials, McG. First, do no harm.)

UPDATE: This just in! Superheroes make a bold comeback, based on the deserved success of Iron Man (stay through the credits!), and will now make an incursion against 2010 and 2011 A.D. after all.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Good Marvel, Bad Marvel

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No more entries on the complexities of DC Comics continuity (I already did two and my Month of the Nerd is only on its fourth day).  Indeed, if one too deeply contemplates DC continuity problems, one will end up like Batman in this disturbing video clip (akin in some ways to the classic “Insanity Test” video clip).

Let us instead reflect upon Marvel Comics today — this is the opening weekend of their Iron Man movie, after all — both the good and the bad.

I think Marvel’s virtues (basically, as I see it, a certain real-world, hard-sci-fi feel as compared to fanciful, old-fashioned DC) have been summed up quite well by the wonderful town of Austin, TX with the Alamo Drafthouse theatre’s excellent decision to have guys using real jet packs at the Austin premiere of Iron Man.

That’s the same alcohol-serving movie theatre where I drank sangria with my free-market-loving pals Scott Nybakken, Christine Caldwell Ames, and LB Deyo while watching Team America, preceded by a screening of an episode of Thunderbirds, the sci-fi marionette show that was my favorite thing in the world at age four and the inspiration for Team America — probably the best overall movie-watching experience of my life, in other words.  The Drafthouse is also the site of AintItCool.com’s annual Butt-Numb-athon nerd-film festival and is where LB and I got to do live movie voiceovers as part of one of Buzz Moran’s infamous “Foleyvision” soundless screenings of crappy films, in this case the appalling Witches of Bali, about a cursed (and surprisingly unattractive) German journalist touring Bali whose head detaches and flies around at night killing people (I voiced an old wizard).  Finally, the Drafthouse is where LB got to emcee the appearance of real-life car-crushing robotic dinosaur Robosaurus at the Drafthouse premiere of Transformers.  Awesome.

But to get back to Marvel: the company also has its drawbacks, such as X-Men characters who are redundant or self-parodic (note the heavy-handed political metaphors and restrained complaints about continuity problems in this Wikipedia entry about the character the Isolationist) and X-Men characters who are cool but (since they are not simple and iconic in the fashion of most DC characters) are so complicated and burdened by backstory that it’s virtually impossible to tell what the main “point” of the character is (try reading this entry on Psylocke — even, or perhaps especially, if you think you know the character — and then try summing up the character for a non-comics-fan in one sentence).

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Tell Me What You Remember, Mr. Savage

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Given that DC Comics’ miniseries Final Crisis starts at the end of this month, here’s a mind-breaking question about the prior “Crisis” events for nerd readers to argue endlessly about in the Responses below — the question that DC editors and writers endlessly dodge or give contradictory, off-the-cuff answers to, lacking the Nietzschean courage to stare directly into the abyss for fear of going mad:

In New Earth history (that is, the history of the main world as it was remade in DC Comics’ Infinite Crisis miniseries and 52 in 2005-2007), was the big Crisis of a few years earlier, the one involving the Anti-Monitor’s shadow demons and the death of Barry Allen, a Crisis on Infinite Earths (as the title of the original mini-series called it back in 1985) or merely a Crisis on 52 Earths (since New Earth exists in a finite multiverse, unlike the infinite one in which DC Comics stories used to take place, back in the days when the Anti-Monitor’s first appearance was actually published) — or was it perhaps even a Crisis on One Earth (the New one, whose inhabitants arguably only recently became aware of alternate Earths)? What did the people now living see during the big Crisis, and what did the surviving heroes think about the state of the multiverse when that Crisis ended? And if you answer, please specify which multiverse.

I notice that many fans — some with an enviable naivete that spares them even having to get headaches about this stuff — will readily and confidently answer such questions merely by reference to publication history, that is, by saying, much as the useless Donna Troy might, that “there were Infinite Earths, then they got destroyed, then there was one Earth, then fifty-one others got created,” as if it’s as simple as recounting World War I being succeeded by the inter-war years being succeeded by World War II, but obviously each successive transformation hinted at in that quote was meant, thanks to time travel-type stuff, to be retroactive to the dawn of creation, so it’s genuinely unclear, I would contend, what “now” is supposed to have happened back in Barry’s final days. If it were a simple question, I wouldn’t ask. (From New Earth, can you watch multiverses live and die while your own history proceeds forward normally, like an island of temporal safety in a larger changing sea, or did New Earth know only the 52, or perhaps only itself, until recently?)

BONUS QUESTION (perhaps to be clarified in July’s Justice Society of America annual): What does Power Girl now remember her life being like in the time between her apparent arrival as a costumed young adult on New Earth (back in the days before, say, the New Teen Titans arose) and, say, the Crisis on Infinite/52 Earths? Did she walk around wondering where she was and being asked where she’d come from prior to arriving on the JSA’s doorstep? Did a confusing conversation about multiple versions of Superman and the JSA ensue when she met the JSA, or did everyone at that point think she fit seamlessly into New Earth events, only learning recently that she’s anomalous?

Again, I’m not asking what the comics showed at the time — I know what the comics have shown — I’m asking if we can correctly deduce what must have happened in New Earth history, which remains technically undepicted. I’m inclined to think, implausible as it sounds physics-wise, that she arrived on New Earth from (the new) Earth-2 and promptly had her mind subtly refashioned by the universe itself so that she “fit into” it, believing herself a cousin of the New Earth Superman for a couple years — perhaps even telling him so — before being told by Arion that that was false and that she was actually an Atlantean, leading her to believe that for a few years, before having her memories of the new Earth-2 restored during Infinite Crisis.

She should not remember the old Earth-2 even though the Power Girl we read about in the actual pages of Infinite Crisis in 2005 did — but again, those pages (at least the first several issues) weren’t in “New Earth” history, merely pre-52 “clutter Earth” history, and now Power Girl presumably fits into the history of the current multiverse, living one Earth away from where her childhood occurred, not being a complete outsider to the whole current multiverse. She’s not quite as anomalous as she used to be from our perspective, you might say.

NOTE ON DONNA TROY: As for Donna Troy, there’s really no good reason (in the sense of being shunted from one Earth to another or one multiverse to another, given her current history) for her having a special awareness of such temporal anomalies other than it being a sort of happenstance superpower she has — “knowing about the multiverse and its history” (because of things “she” went through in versions of history other than the current one). That’s slightly annoying in a way similar to those endings where something was all a dream but leaves one small artifact in the dreamer’s pocket (reality shouldn’t be half-assed, we continuity-nerds implicitly believe). It might be simplest if the writers just had that awareness of hers fade and let her get back to be a perfectly normal magical twin sister of Wonder Woman — but then, she’s supposed to be meta-monitoring the multiversal Monitors now, I gather, so the temptation to involve her in time-weirdness may prove irresistible to future writers. Who Does Donna Troy Think She Is, Anyway?

PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE? Perhaps the easiest thing to do to prevent future mistakes (or rather, third-easiest, the two easiest solutions being [a] start over from scratch with one universe or [b] just declare time/history completely malleable, as was attempted briefly with DC’s now-abandoned “Hypertime” concept) would be to make the situation on New Earth approximate as closely as possible the reader’s experience of history by declaring New Earth even more vaunted relative to other Earths than it currently appears, such that from it one can see not only other universes but whole multiverses rising and falling — or at least becoming “accessible” and “inaccessible” from the main timeline — over the course of New Earth history. Then — despite history restarting from the Big Bang within each of the other, lesser universes — from the privileged vantage point of New Earth heroes it might well appear that there was an “old multiverse” unveiled to most of them a few years ago (fictional time), around the time of the Crisis on Infinite Earths, which destroyed that multiverse, then a period of seeming temporal unity, then a period of Hypertime, then an Infinite Crisis that unveiled a “new multiverse” the New Earthers hadn’t seen before.

The downside of this plan would be having to keep track, forever more, of the fact that when New Earth characters say, for instance, “Earth-2,” they need to specify whether they’re referring to the old one or the new one — instead of just being blissfully ignorant of the old one or assuming their old experiences have been revised to incorporate contact with the new/only Earth-2.

THE MYSTERY: The starkest way of putting the whole question may be: Do our heroes remember talking about the multiverse prior to Infinite Crisis (in the same straightforward, non-privileged-by-time-travel way they remember, say, watching Welcome Back, Kotter, sharing those memories with members of the general public in a completely normal fashion)? If they remember talking about the multiverse in the past, how did they describe that multiverse in those old conversations? We still haven’t really been told. Glossing over it works only so long as certain sorts of flashback/history stories are ruthlessly avoided (and for the past few years, they pretty much have been, a rather high price to pay for progress, though perhaps worth it).

There have, of course, been the grand historical overviews provided by Donna Troy and the Monitors, but those overviews are utterly useless for answering these sorts of questions for precisely the reason that those characters speak from a privileged perspective more akin to the all-knowing reader’s than to ordinary human perspectives “within” the current version of normal history. And it is that normal history fans want to know and understand, despite DC’s shameful, irresponsible obfuscation over the past twenty-two years, indicative of their own internal slap-dash confusion and apathy.

The question, in short, is not what some God’s-eye character like Darkseid remembers but what a hundred-year-old, non-superpowered human historian would remember, having observed New Earth history for the past seven decades in the conventional fashion. Didio? Johns? Morrison? Hilty? Anyone at DC have a real answer for the first time in twenty-two years?

Friday, May 2, 2008

Retro-Journal: Crisis and Continuity in Late 2001

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Today, audiences are enjoying the Iron Man movie, about a weapons merchant whose own technology is used against him but who fights back.

Back in the summer of 2001, shortly before American technology was turned against itself by terrorists, I had just left the employment of John Stossel — who looks a bit like Tony Stark — and soon thereafter found myself attending the funeral of a decidedly low-tech but powerful personage: my maternal grandfather, lifelong farmer Earl Geer (leaving me with one living grandparent, my still-thriving paternal grandmother, Florence Seavey, now ninety-four). I wore an old white shirt of Grandpa Geer’s to an event within just the past several days — which was partly fun, partly a continuation of my Douglas Hofstadter-influenced eulogy from back in July 2001.

One of the more upbeat gatherings of that summer, though, was a seminar run by political science professor Jeffrey Friedman under the auspices of the political philosophy journal he edits, Critical Review. Each summer, he’d badger a small group of libertarians into confronting non-libertarian ideas and a small group of non-libertarians into confronting libertarian ideas, in hopes of creating some common ground and intellectual flexibility of the sort necessary for serious academic discussion instead of party in-fighting. I’m indebted to Andrea Rich for suggesting to Friedman that I attend (and for putting up with my criticisms, as in my prior Retro-Journal entry, of Szasz, who she admires, as do many libertarians and even non-libertarians).

That tiny CR group — about fourteen people — meeting for a couple days in August 2001 ended up being my first or near-first meeting with several interesting personalities with whom I’d go on to have further contact, including Julian Sanchez and Katherine Mangu-Ward (later members of Reason’s editorial staff), Peter Suderman (later of National Review) [NOTE: different guy], Michael Malice (now a New York Times best-selling author on the topic of ultimate fighting — not to mention a trivia host on May 14), then-philosophy-student now-finance-guy Phineas Upham (who once danced with Natalie Portman at Harvard, I have to note, just in case he doesn’t get credit for it anywhere else), Elizabeth Koch (who’d go on to write for Reason and co-edit Opium), and a Rand-reading dancer who said she suspected she was invited because she has “a nice ass.” The gathering is immortalized (without names being named) in a few panels of the comic book version of Malice’s life story, written a few years later by Harvey Pekar. Malice was the most skeptical member of the whole group, though, since he is, in his own words, “more Rand than Rand,” whereas I, like Friedman (in some ways), am a utilitarian. Unlike Friedman, I believe people can be truly evil — and I don’t just mean Malice.

Another friend of mine who would be drawn into the CR web much later, Dan Greenberg, is now an Arkansas state representative but back then was writing a political column for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (like his father, Paul Greenberg, who popularized the nickname “Slick Willie” and whose head graced billboards around Little Rock, an effective reminder to Dan to do something with his life). On September 10, 2001, I e-mailed a list of what I considered the hottest political topics of the day to Dan as suggested topics for his column. That e-mail — which, unfortunately, I can’t locate now but have looked back at in recent years — was a veritable time capsule of soon-to-be-irrelevant controversies. The only one I remember for sure is “the Patient’s Bill of Rights.” Twenty-four hours later, no one would be talking about the Patient’s Bill of Rights — and no, I don’t think Bush annihilated a swath of lower Manhattan to redirect the national conversation away from such hot-button issues or change his poll numbers. The national conversation was so pleasantly dull on September 10 that just doing a handstand on the White House lawn or announcing a new student loan program would have been enough to redirect it.

•••

I know exactly which topic was foremost in my mind on the morning of September 11, 2001 prior to hearing about the terrorist attacks: cloning. At the suggestion of Virginia Postrel, I was writing about the topic in a way meant to appeal to conservatives and keep them from veering any farther into the increasingly vocal anti-biotech camp (not so unlike the implicit, albeit less partisan, message I hoped came across in the last Stossel show I’d worked on before leaving ABC News, Tampering with Nature).

One minute I was typing earnestly in my Upper East Side apartment about how conservatives might be blocking the technology that could someday make us immortal, and the next minute Mom — who had so recently lost her father — was calling from Norwich, CT to tell me about mass death downtown in my own city. And since this is probably the least-dramatic way a New Yorker could possibly have learned about the major events of the day — being called by his out-of-town mother — I think it was best for both of us, psychologically. It felt just slightly more like a distant news event to me and was something Mom could frame and relate to me from a relatively secure position of knowledge instead of getting scary, confusing bad news from me — or simply not being able to get ahold of me. I’d awake with a horrified shudder the next morning, though, as I remembered what had happened the previous day.

Anecdotal evidence — which seems to jibe with evolutionary logic — suggests that people tend to mate more after events that either kill a huge portion of the population or are perceived/felt as if they’ve killed (or may yet kill) a huge portion of the population, and I did find myself romantically involved with two fellow Brown alums over the course of that half-year (for a total of three times I’d been involved with Brown alums since graduating) and, in a moment that truly gave me hope for the future of Western civilization, kissing a rather Annie Lennox-like British leftist/science-buff/comedian/trapeze artist who was opposed to greens and Luddite environmentalists and shared my admiration for Virginia Postrel. In a more highbrow version of the sense of unity sweeping the land, I thought I could see a coalition of pro-technology, pro-Western, pro-progress thinkers forming in opposition to the violent, statist, hyper-religious regimes to the east, one that might hasten the end of the divisive right-left framework and build a shinier tomorrow for all out of the rubble.

Unlike my libertarian friend Katherine Taylor, I wasn’t troubled by the sudden crop of American flags all over the place, either — I’d started out my adult life with the moderately conservative view that the U.S. is obviously good and worth celebrating/defending, even before I had a coherent philosophy, and an upsurge in patriotism seemed healthy to me, and not unlibertarian. I did not yet grasp how divided many of my ideological brethren, once seemingly so united as to be almost boring, would be after 9/11 (note: and just to be clear, Katherine hates America — just kidding!).

Jeffrey Friedman took a decidedly more pessimistic view than I of things and where libertarianism stood in the altered world. Like Katherine, he soon decided to move out of New York City (she ended up in California, he in Texas) and before leaving warned not only that those of us who remained were taking a huge risk but that libertarianism might well become “an irrelevant philosophy.” One more attack like 9/11, he predicted (reasonably enough), and national security would become so central to everyone’s thinking as to erase any strong interest in civil liberties niceties and perhaps in the idea of liberty itself.

At the same party where Friedman issued that warning — once more the work of Andrea Rich, and of her husband Howie (since vilified by Kos and other bloggers as a diabolical free-market puppetmaster undermining democracy, which is one of the reasons I like him) — a libertarian named David B. Brown (not to be confused with the more Rand-oriented David M. Brown) expressed concern to me that the FAA had ordered all planes out of American skies on 9/11, possibly without full legal authority to do so. Normally prone to long philosophical statements, I found myself responding, a bit exasperated, “Who cares?!” And it may have been in that moment that I found myself becoming, for a time, more neocon in my thinking and a bit less patient with my unbending libertarian brethren.

•••

In another early post-9/11 incident that hinted at deeper divides of which we weren’t all yet fully conscious, Friedman suggested to one of my fellow seminar alums, Julian Sanchez, that a pro-war libertarian magazine or website might be a good, timely idea. Julian instead co-founded the Stand Down project, urging the U.S. to avoid military involvement in the Middle East, and has been looking visibly creeped-out any time I say kind things about Republicans ever since — making him perhaps more representative than I of libertarians and of the Reason crowd, though I continue to insist that no clear position on war follows from basic libertarian principles, though one can draw strategic and practical conclusions about specific wars from many other sources. I continue to encounter libertarians who self-describe as everything from pacifist to “bloodthirsty warmonger” (his own words, really). It all hinges on how you think we can best produce a world without either random bloodshed or oppressive regimes and terrorist training camps, and the truth probably lies somewhere in between Ron Paul and William Kristol, which doesn’t narrow things down very much, I know, but the universe never promised you everything would be as clear-cut as a property line.

In any case, cloning certainly didn’t seem like the most urgent issue anymore, but for that article, I interviewed pro-stem-cell-research Dr. Elizabeth Whelan from the American Council on Science and Health — a group for whom I had actually written an article about cloning four years earlier, when Dolly was first unveiled. Instead of merely appearing in the new 2001 piece, ACSH ended up publishing it months later — and hiring me to be their new Director of Publications. With the stock market plummeting (remember 7000?) and those mirage-like dotcom creative-media gigs of the 90s not really returning, I decided to return to the fulltime-job world — though I had had some very fun experiences with Katherine and other minimally-employed friends that fall, despite our hovering fear the world might end.

In any case, the ACSH gig seemed perfect for me: media + science + politics. Unlike unscientific greens and advocates of alternative medicine — not to mention those backward imbeciles attacking us from their caves in Afghanistan — I would fight for the future and for progress, even while being in some ways conservative, not so unlike arch-conservative John Derbyshire condemning “intelligent design” advocates as betrayers of civilization this week. Battlelines, sometimes new and confusing but seemingly no less urgent for it, were drawn.

P.S. Since this is the Month of the Nerd, I may as well mention that while no one I know died on 9/11, to my knowledge (only friends of friends), a few of us in the orbit of DC Comics lost track of Ruth Morrison, who’d written some stuff for DC, after that — and knew she’d been working in the Financial District around that time. Haven’t heard from her since, so if you’re out there and alive Ruth, by all means update us.